|This picture will make sense, promise.|
I did, however, want to immortalize the events of my the most recent DCC RPG game that I run. Ark, from Rather Gamey, participates in it, and did a fantastic writeup of the last session, which can be read here. This past Saturday, one of the players was unable to make it, and while we toyed with the idea of a one-shot of some other system, we agreed that we were all in the mood for DCC, and having some time between when the last session had left off and the group was meant to stop the ship from departing (did you click that link?), we decided to run an interlude session, where the one character was off doing whatever it was that they were doing, and the rest of the group had an adventure without him.
It's important to note that the group is supposed to keep a low profile, so they decided that they should find a way to get from the district in which they were residing to the Docks, where the ship would be. They discovered that although the house was on stilts, these were hollow stone stilts, and they also served as privy-tubes. Lowering a rope, they began their Trek Through the Poo.
The halfling quickly determined that there were drawbacks to being a halfling, when he realized that there was 2.5 feet of waste in the sewers, and he was only 3'2. So it was slow going as he walked sideways along the curve of the sewers. They stumbled upon a group of Kobolds in Brown Capes, which are indicative, in the city in which they are residing, of the Servitor Class. Yes, these Kobolds worked for the City's Sewage Department. These kobolds also all sounded like Big Boss, the head of C.R.O.O.K.S, the organization of evil in the breakout hit cartoon C.O.P.S., from around 1988. What's that? You've never heard of it? Allow me to enlighten you. Some might say that Big Boss actually sounds like Edward G. Robinson, but I digress.
The Kobolds had inadvertently caused a cave in, and then lost several of their fellows when they were sent in to tunnel through the mess. They were trying to figure out who to blame when the party came along, offering them an easy out. The party crawled into the passage to find that another tunnel had been created adjacent to the one they were digging, and it appeared the kobolds had headed down that tunnel. Heading down that tunnel, they were attacked by a creature made of bone, with a vole of some sort at the center of its mass, pierced by numerous bones of various animals. They fought it off, but all but one zero level party member fell into a small pit. While the group was attempting to climb out, something grabbed the zero level character, and dragged him off without a sound. They continued on, those with infravision detecting heat, even though none felt it. Eventually, they came to a room with a pit in the middle. Red light spilled forth from the pit, along with several large tentacles, that seemed to be responsible for all the new tunnels. Two of the kobolds were huddling in a corner, along with Paul the Zero Level Guy, and another two kobolds had been jammed into the bone creature things. The party attacked, and, by the skin of their teeth, managed to defeat the bone creatures, and drive the tentacle monster back into the depths. The kobolds were grateful for the assistance, and provided the PCs with a trinket that would lead them through the city's byzantine maze of sewers to the docks, going forward.
All was well, except for poor Kaye. Kaye is the party Cleric, and was called upon frequently to heal his fellows. As is apt to happen in DCC, Kaye failed several checks, and had invoked some disfavor. One result was that he had to go on a quest to heal the crippled. Problem is, in this city, the crippled get tossed over the wall (you did click that link above, right?). The party decided that the best place to find cripples in a city that doesn't like cripples would probably be at the docks, where perhaps they could find some cripples that had not yet been tossed.
Lucky for them, or by the grace of Kaye's god, there happened to be a plague ship that had just tried to dock. It had been tied off, then pushed back, while the dock master tried to figure out what to do with it. The party decided to take care of it. Of course, Ark's characters are not nice people (you know that because you clicked the link, right?), so they decided to remain above decks in burkas adorned with red crosses (keeps the plague out, donchaknow), arranging a triage area, while Kaye and the Halfling descended into the ship. From there, it was pretty much a zombie movie, except the zombies flesh was tumorous. Lots of empty rooms with signs of violence, an ominous barred door with blood smeared all around it, that sort of thing. It turned out that a successful lay on hands from Kaye's cleric reversed the effects of the disease, but there were so many of them, Kaye's disfavor quickly increased even more. I believe that, by the time the ship had been cleared, he had gained a new quest to heal the crippled, was required to convert someone by sundown, was deafened for two weeks, had to meditate for several hours, you get the point.
What can I say, the life of a DCC Cleric, is not an easy one. And to think, Ark is going out of his way looking for a patron. Oh the fun that we shall have!