Session Report: DCC Interlude

This picture will make sense, promise.

I have been neglecting my blog of late, mostly because I have been on a creative streak, and haven't needed to write about creating, as I've actually been doing it!  Imagine that!

I did, however, want to immortalize the events of my the most recent DCC RPG game that I run.  Ark, from Rather Gamey, participates in it, and did a fantastic writeup of the last session, which can be read here.   This past Saturday, one of the players was unable to make it, and while we toyed with the idea of a one-shot of some other system, we agreed that we were all in the mood for DCC, and having some time between when the last session had left off and the group was meant to stop the ship from departing (did you click that link?), we decided to run an interlude session, where the one character was off doing whatever it was that they were doing, and the rest of the group had an adventure without him.

It's important to note that the group is supposed to keep a low profile, so they decided that they should find a way to get from the district in which they were residing to the Docks, where the ship would be.  They discovered that although the house was on stilts, these were hollow stone stilts, and they also served as privy-tubes.  Lowering a rope, they began their Trek Through the Poo.

The halfling quickly determined that there were drawbacks to being a halfling, when he realized that there was 2.5 feet of waste in the sewers, and he was only 3'2.  So it was slow going as he walked sideways along the curve of the sewers.  They stumbled upon a group of Kobolds in Brown Capes, which are indicative, in the city in which they are residing, of the Servitor Class.  Yes, these Kobolds worked for the City's Sewage Department.  These kobolds also all sounded like Big Boss, the head of C.R.O.O.K.S, the organization of evil in the breakout hit cartoon C.O.P.S., from around 1988.  What's that?  You've never heard of it?  Allow me to enlighten you.  Some might say that Big Boss actually sounds like Edward G. Robinson, but I digress.

The Kobolds had inadvertently caused a cave in, and then lost several of their fellows when they were sent in to tunnel through the mess.  They were trying to figure out who to blame when the party came along, offering them an easy out.  The party crawled into the passage to find that another tunnel had been created adjacent to the one they were digging, and it appeared the kobolds had headed down that tunnel.  Heading down that tunnel, they were attacked by a creature made of bone, with a vole of some sort at the center of its mass, pierced by numerous bones of various animals.  They fought it off, but all but one zero level party member fell into a small pit.  While the group was attempting to climb out, something grabbed the zero level character, and dragged him off without a sound.  They continued on, those with infravision detecting heat, even though none felt it.  Eventually, they came to a room with a pit in the middle.  Red light spilled forth from the pit, along with several large tentacles, that seemed to be responsible for all the new tunnels.  Two of the kobolds were huddling in a corner, along with Paul the Zero Level Guy, and another two kobolds had been jammed into the bone creature things.  The party attacked, and, by the skin of their teeth, managed to defeat the bone creatures, and drive the tentacle monster back into the depths.  The kobolds were grateful for the assistance, and provided the PCs with a trinket that would lead them through the city's byzantine maze of sewers to the docks, going forward.

All was well, except for poor Kaye.  Kaye is the party Cleric, and was called upon frequently to heal his fellows.  As is apt to happen in DCC, Kaye failed several checks, and had invoked some disfavor.  One result was that he had to go on a quest to heal the crippled.  Problem is, in this city, the crippled get tossed over the wall (you did click that link above, right?).  The party decided that the best place to find cripples in a city that doesn't like cripples would probably be at the docks, where perhaps they could find some cripples that had not yet been tossed.

Lucky for them, or by the grace of Kaye's god, there happened to be a plague ship that had just tried to dock.  It had been tied off, then pushed back, while the dock master tried to figure out what to do with it.  The party decided to take care of it.  Of course, Ark's characters are not nice people (you know that because you clicked the link, right?), so they decided to remain above decks in burkas adorned with red crosses (keeps the plague out, donchaknow), arranging a triage area, while Kaye and the Halfling descended into the ship.  From there, it was pretty much a zombie movie, except the zombies flesh was tumorous.  Lots of empty rooms with signs of violence, an ominous barred door with blood smeared all around it, that sort of thing.  It turned out that a successful lay on hands from Kaye's cleric reversed the effects of the disease, but there were so many of them, Kaye's disfavor quickly increased even more.  I believe that, by the time the ship had been cleared, he had gained a new quest to heal the crippled, was required to convert someone by sundown, was deafened for two weeks, had to meditate for several hours, you get the point.

What can I say, the life of a DCC Cleric, is not an easy one.  And to think, Ark is going out of his way looking for a patron.  Oh the fun that we shall have!

A Comedy of Errors

I ran my first DCC RPG game, taking the group on a trip through the meat funnel.  I've played a bit of DCC RPG, but this was my first time running it, and I think it went fairly well.  The party certainly took the "You're no hero" bit on the back cover seriously.

Things started off innocently enough, a farmer came running into town, looking a bit scorched, talking about an earthquake having opened a crevasse in his cornfield, and how it was spewing forth flame spitting little creatures.  The village elders drew lots, and the 16 party members became the official militia.

They set off to the farm, and encountered a pair of the little jerks fornicating in the cornfield.  They slew them, but lost 2 of their own in the process.

It had begun.

Honestly, they were more deadly to themselves than the monsters.  Two particular instances proved deadlier than any demon of the depths I could conjure.

1.  Pitpocalypse

The party were crawling through a tunnel with an extremely low ceiling, when they encountered a giant white tunneling worm.  It saw them and dove downwards, creating a gap they had to cross.  The lead party member tied a rope to his ankle, and they crossed, one by one.  Agility check to make it.  If you fail, a luck check to grab the rope before you fall, but then the person on both sides of the gap needed to make a Strength check to keep from getting pulled in by the weight.  All was going swimmingly, until the very last person, Sorcia, the wannabe Witch.  She failed the Agility check but passed her Luck check.  Petunia, the urchin who had collected vast quantities of corn from the field and was presumably distracted by her newfound fortune, failed her Strength check, and was yanked into the pit as well.  The lead character with the rope tied around his ankle, had his leg jerked from beneath him and fell forward, taking enough damage to kill him, presumably as he smacked his face into the ground, driving his nose into his brain and sending the body sliding back through the rest of the group taking them with him as he slid into the pit.  This set off a chain reaction, as one party member after the next tumbled into the pit.  Altogether, almost a full third of the party was lost in what became known as, Pitpocalypse.

2.  Piqued Oil

Again, the party's fault more than mine.  Faced with an overwhelming force of Imps, they decided to break out a flask of oil and go for an area attack.  The PC wanted to take it from another PC, light it and throw it.  I said that was too many actions for one round, so he got clever.  Making use of his multiple PCs, he comes up with the idea, "One PC takes it from another, hands it to another PC who lights it, who hands it to another who throws it."  One action each, voila!  While I grumbled, I couldn't argue the logic, and so the flask was passed, lit and thrown.  And they fumbled. Checking the table, it seemed that the weapon was faulty.  There was a crack in the flask, and as it had been passed around the party, it had left a trail of oil behind it.  When it was lit, a conflagration enveloped the party, and even more died a horrible, flamey death.

Other choice quotes from the evening:

• The book contained secrets not meant for the eyes of a baker...
• What's a gongfarmer?
• Okay, so what's nightsoil?
• I take the helmet off of the dead orphan
• We've all had our fun eating human flesh, but now it's time to move on
• C'mon, of course I can sneak!  Haven't you heard the expression, "Silent as a barber"?
• I make sure to have my Vampirella outfit on when I perform the ritual

There were plenty of memorable moments as they banished the evil god.  There was poor Omar, the gangsta baker who ended up a hissing, light-sensitive, lizard tailed, crab clawed creature before finally being put out of his misery, there was the barber named Seville, the very manly Florence, with her buzz cut and rat tail haircut, Kaye's Dire Halfling, ah yes, memories...

They've all hit level one, except for Kaye, so much of the hilarity of zero level adventuring is gone, now we get to the serious stuff.

More on this group as it develops...

For Those About to Rock and/or Die

While I understand that DCC RPG's official name for their character creation process is, "The Funnel", I have to say that I don't think that the word captures the essence, the horror, of a formative experience more akin to a meat grinder than a funnel.. 

Having just completed my first foray into this terrifying process, I would like to petition Goodman Games, in future editions of DCC RPG, refer to this process as the Meat Funnel.  

Whether they do or not, I will henceforth refer to it as such.

In any event, of the four characters I started out with last week in Adam and Edgar's Metal Gods of Ur-Hadad campaign, only one remained last night, standing triumphant.  Crag Beerbeard, heroic Dwarven Blacksmith, managed not to outperform, so much as just outlast his compatriots.  He has discovered a bit of an affinity for the Longbow, ironic considering his racial handicaps, but nonetheless he seems to have taken the roll of the Deadeye Crackshot of the party, plugging several ghouls full of holes in last night's session.  

Surely the Hall of Heroes will fill with many songs of praise in his honor in the future, but I'd like to spend just a moment remembering the fallen, without whom Crag would not have had his chance to shine.

Miff Sapsipper - Alas, poor Miff, we hardly knew ye.  An Elven Navigator, I had the highest hopes for you.  The Tank of my group of intrepid adventurer's you had 5 hit points.  You were also lucky, born under the loom, which would have given you a +1 bonus to all skill checks, including thief skills.  I had visions of you with your spyglass and short bow as an elite archer assassin sniper type, but unfortunately, you were a bit cocky, feeling invincible with your five hit points, and were taken down in a single strike by a lizard man in the caves.  Someday, Crag will return your spyglass to your family, and tell them of your death.

Michelangelo Aggrosong - Despite your grand name, you were... well, pretty average.  A human cooper with but a single hit point, no-one knows what drove you to pick up your barrel and crowbar and descend into the depths.  A quiet type, you nonetheless showed some promise on the battlefield, releasing your rage as you beat at the lizard men.  Unfortunately, your fearlessness could only carry you so far, and it wasn't long until you fell beneath the might of your enemies.  Crag still carries your crowbar, Michelangelo, as a reminder not to get ahead of himself.

Lardo Cutpurssian - To be honest, no-one was terribly sorry to see Lardo go.  A fat, sweaty merchant, he had heard that there was treasure to be had, and a large group of people to hide behind as he collected it.  Quite smart, and reasonably strong, he was hamstrung by his hefty bulk, horrible asthma and a personality not even his mother could stand.  Even so, he might have made it, but something he saw in those depths caused him to snap.  Seeing his friends mowed down and he himself surviving, he came to believe he was blessed and became reckless, charging ahead of the party, and engaging in one-on-one melee battles.  Poor Lardo, didn't you know you only had but a single Hit Point?  Alas, even padded armor and a long sword couldn't save him, as he was brought down by a ghoul.  The symbol of your devotion to the Merchant God hangs close to Crag's heart.

And so, his companions but memories, grains of sand on the Beach of Time, Crag Beerbeard goes forth, purpose in his stride, a spark in his eye and fire in his belly, determined to learn from his experiences in... The Meat Funnel.

G+ Gaming

Ages ago, I used to game with a group that had a member who was out of town frequently.  He drove an eighteen wheeler for a living, and would spend weeks at a time living in hotel rooms in one horse towns.  Like airline pilots, truck drivers can't drink when they're on schedule, and there were only so many days he could sit in a room and read or watch television.  So his friends, the great people that they were, jury-rigged a setup to allow him to role play with them.  They hung a microphone from the ceiling in the middle of the table, and sat a speaker on the table in front of the seat where he would sit when he was with them, and he would play right along with us.

These were less technologically adept days, the phone line was analog, we took his dice rolls on faith (although the general consensus was that he rolled a suspiciously high number of critical hits compared to the rest of us), there were lots of, "Wait, what did he say?"s from us, and even more, "Could you repeat that?"s from him, and the general feeling was more like sitting on a conference call than playing an RPG, but hey - it kept him sane, it kept the GM from having to come up with in-game reasons for the guy's character's absences every couple of weeks, and it kept the group together.  It wasn't ideal, but it pretty much kinda almost worked, most of the time.

Flash forward to the present, and I'm hearing about playing on g+, and the first thing I think of is all the nights spent shouting into the microphone and trying to figure out whether he said, "I hit it with my axe", or, "That pit is full of cats!"

I received lots of positive responses from my previous post regarding online gaming, so I've been keeping my eye out on g+ looking for games and my god, I had no idea there were games going on at such odd hours.  A good part of it is time zones, I'm sure, but it seemed like half the games were either happening while I was working or sleeping.  Then along came an opportunity too good to pass up.  Edgar Johnson and Adam Muszkiewicz run a game on Thursdays using DCC RPG called the Metal Gods of Ur-Hadad.  They were wrapping up the first adventure, the Crypt of the Lizard King.  Reading further into it, I discovered that it riffed off of Jim Morrison and the Doors, and I was sold.

Despite some technical difficulties (from what I've read online since last night, Roll20 doesn't always cooperate with the Chrome browser - switching to Firefox, check), I had a blast.  I was officially inaugurated into the ranks of the experienced when Michelangelo Aggrosong, the crowbar swinging cooper fell in glorious battle, followed shortly by Miff Sapsipper, the Elven Navigator.  Crag Beerbeard the Dwarven Blacksmith and Lardo Cutpurssian the merchant lived to die, er... I mean fight another day, and collected 5 xp each for their troubles, setting them on their way.  The highlight of the evening was a wonderful example of Death By Treasure when another party member discovered, to their horror, that a magic helm did one point of damage per round to non-chaotic characters who wore it.  He was lawful.  He only had 1 hp.  He died.

At three hours, the timing was just right, I had a blast, and I'm looking forward to the sequel, Slaves of the Silicon God!

The Clockwork Cave Revised!

So awhile back, I mentioned briefly a dungeon that I had run my group through that I thought was pretty neat.  At the time, the One Page Dungeon Contest was going on, and I thought it was a simple enough design that I could fit it on one page.

I was wrong.

It turned out that the one page the dungeon was written on was really only about half of what was actually needed to run the dungeon, I had just filled in the cracks using my mind.

So I've kept on toying with it here and there, making adjustments and alterations, and I've gotten to the point where I'm about halfway done, but already at six pages!  As I went through the writing, though, I kept coming back to a basic problem - I suck at drawing, and the mechanics of the dungeon are unique.  A top down graph paper drawing worked for me because I could see it three dimensionally, and use the drawing in conjuction with what was in my head to explain what was going on to the party.  If I ever wanted someone else to use it, or hell, if I wanted to be able to use it better, I would have to do better.

I needed a professional. 

I'm a huge fan of DCCRPG, and I think in no small part that is due to the amazing artwork of Doug Kovacs.  He's provided the cover art, much of the interior art and cartography for the series thus far, and I think it's fair to say that he's developed the "house style" for the line.  I feel that his mapwork in particular strides the line between cartography and art, like this or this, for instance.

So taking a shot in the dark, I sent him an email, explaining what I was looking for and why I thought he was the right man for the job.  We ended up haveing a wonderful phone conversation last night, the result of which was that he agreed to create the map for the module, and even run his local group through the adventure to playtest it and give me some design advice!

So yeah, I'm pretty excited now, and have to buckle down and crank out the last half of this thing!  More on this as things progress!