Monstrous Monday - Fear the Mayfly Queen!

The Mayfly Queen:Size: Medium, Number Appearing: 1 (Unique) Armor Class: -2 Hit Dice: 14 Movement Special  Attacks: 3 Damage: 1d8/1d8/2d12 + special, see below XP: 10000  

Mayfly Drones: Size: Medium, Number Appearing: See Below, Armor Class: 5 Hit Dice 1-6 Movement: 12" 40" Fl Attacks: 3 Damage: 1d4, 1d4, 1d8 XP: 500

The Mayfly Queen is the progenitor god of an entire race of insect-like creatures. Although it has taken the name of the Mayfly Queen, it is not strictly female, nor is its race made up of Mayflies. Scholars speculate that it is a remnant of a previous universe, or an invader from somewhere else entirely. Planar historians have records of periodic infestations going back millenia, and while these infestations have been driven off, it has never been without cost, and the Queen herself has never been destroyed. It is speculated that the Queen's natural habitat is a place outside of time, that it worms its way into the cracks and breeds, forcing the cracks wider and wider until time itself splinters, and the hordes of the Mayfly Queen spill forth, consuming all in their path.

This begins the Mayqueen's cycle. The Queen is not native to linear time, and in order to survive in the hostile environment, the Queen must nest within the brain of a sentient creature, letting it act as a buffer. The longer the host would have lived had it not been taken by the Queen, the more energy exists to be converted. As such, the Queen typically targets the young, and sends whole detachments of its drones out to capture as many as possible. These unfortunates are wrapped up in a salival resin, and placed in storage for future use. For every month that the victim would have lived, it can protect the Queen for one day, at which point the host expires, and the Queen must find another.

Further, the Queen can use that same potential energy to create additional drones. Should she wish, she can burn through all of the host's potential energy to create 4d100 drones. A single host can spawn an entire legion of Mayfly Drones, and an infestation will typically result in thousands upon thousands of hosts. Some are kept near the Queen, allowing her to direct her Drones and replenish their ranks as they fall, while others are stuffed back into the cracks in Time, as she hedges her bets. Should she fail, there are always hosts stashed away in different places and times. Outside of time, the hosts' potential energy is multiplied a thousandfold, allowing for the Horde to reach vast sizes. These drones are not long lived, however, hence the name given to the species, and applied to the Queen.  Born of potential energy, the Drones are unstable, and will typically only live for 1-2 days.  They can consume the potential energy of living creatures to extend their own lifespans, however, at the rate of 1 day per victim.

Thus the Queen must constantly expand, her hordes consuming all living creatures, decimating entire planes of existence, before collapsing under the weight of their own need, or being driven back, at which point the Queen begins breeding anew, and the cycle begins again.

There are legends of a race of Eternal beings named the Aasir of the First City who appear during swarms, aiding the beleaguered defenders, but even they seem to favor containment over direct confrontations, and it appears that in certain instances, the Aasir have also been known to slaughter those same defenders, to prevent them from falling into the hands of the Mayfly Queen.

The Queen itself is a bloated parasite, resembling a giant tick. It is a mottled yellowish white color, like milk mixed with pus. It has two sharp claws, and a proboscis which can also deliver devastating damage. If damage is taken from the proboscis, the target must save vs. poison or be paralyzed for 2d6 rounds.  If encountered, it will almost certainly be attached to a Host, latched onto the spine of the unfortunate creature.  Its proboscis will be extended through the base of the skull, extending outwards through the mouth, and has been known to communicate, indicating that it does possess some measure of intelligence.  If engaged directly in combat, it will immediately burn through its host and generate a host of defenders, and will only enter combat itself as a last resort. It has both Plane Shift and Time Shift available as last resorts, each is usable only once per day. 

It should be noted that there are no records of the Mayfly Queen ever having been engaged directly in combat.  Whether that is because no-one has been able to, or no-one has lived to tell the tale is unknown. 

Devil's Advocate Theater: Skills

Welcome to the first installment of Devil's Advocate Theater, where I argue both sides of an argument, because I'm ornery.

The first item up for debate is Skills.  A fairly divisive topic in the OSR, there are no shortage of folks ready to line up and argue one side or the other in this debate, but how many are there that will argue both for AND against them, eh?

Introducing our two debaters today, we have the Grognard and the Munchkin.

Grognard:  I'm pleased to be here today, and would like to thank From the Ashes, and James MacGeorge in particular, for moderating this debate.

Munchkin: I would like to thank them both as well.  But more powerfully.

Moderator: Well, we're off to a good start - both sides agree.

Grognard: Technically, he doesn't agree with me, since he felt it necessary to emphasize the magnitude of his agreement.

Moderator: Yes, well let's get to the matter at hand - Skills.  Valuable tool or bane of all that is good in life?  Grognard, you won the coin toss, so you get first response.

Grognard:  Bane of all that is good.  Hands down.  Role Playing is meant to be a challenge for the player.  Skills act like cheat codes, allowing you to take shortcuts, and dumbs down the game overall.

Moderator: Well, a very strident answer, direct and to the point.  Munchkin?

Munchkin: We're playing a game called Dungeons and Dragons, where people throw fireballs and call down the might of their gods upon those that anger them.  There are already cheat codes built into the game - they're called spells.

Grognard: Exactly my point - spells were built into the game from the beginning.  To borrow a phrase, "I must not use skills.  Skills are the game killer.  Skills are the little-death that bring feats."  Skills were the first step away from dudes picking up swords and venturing into dungeons and the first step towards the superheroes in chain-mail in 4e.

Moderator:  I'm hearing a presupposition there that 4e is an inherently bad game.  Which  is a different debate from this one.  So leaving that aside, we'll say that 4e is a different game than the original, and move on from there.

Grognard: Okay, consider this.  Skills remove the need for player involvement with the game.  It removes all incentive for the player to actually participate in the game itself.  The game changes from a game of skill to a game whose outcome is determined by the roll of the dice.  Chess becomes craps.  Many of the best traps conceived for D&D involve the player working out the mechanism and disarming it, based on observations, asking the right questions, etc.  With Skills, it just becomes, "Roll a perception check".  You got it?  Great, the trap is disarmed!  Where's the fun in that?   Where's the skill?

Munchkin: Look, if I wanted to be a master trapsmith, I would have gone into a life of crime.  I play these games to relax and have fun.

Grognard: You can have fun and still be involved!  If all you want to do is roll dice, there are board games and dice games out there for you.

Munchkin: Those games don't offer the narrative content that I crave.

Moderator: Sounds like we're veering off track again.  Let's refocus.  Munchkin, why do you believe that Skills are valuable tools?

Munchkin: Because not using them is discriminatory.

Grognard:  Discriminatory?  What???

Munchkin: Yes, discriminatory.  If the most your character is able to do is what you as the player can do, then you have certain class skills that just cannot be played by certain players.  How do you play someone with an Intelligence score of 18 if you yourself aren't all that smart?  How does a slovenly, abrasive jerk play someone with a high Charisma?  Nobody would ever be able to play a Paladin, because all the people who already have Paladin-like attributes are out there doing heroic things in real life, not playing games about them!

Grognard: Well first of all, I take exception to your characterization of gamers.  I'm sure there are some paladins in our ranks.  Secondly, that's just ridiculous.  Attributes are different from skills.  Higher attributes allow you to mitigate shall we say... shortcomings within the player.  They enhance what is already there.  Skills allow you to create, whole cloth, abilities which the player does not possess.

Munchkin: Do you know how to use a sword?

Grognard:  I hardly think that's relevant.

Munchkin: Moderator, will you instruct the Grognard to answer the question?

Moderator: This isn't a trial, Munchkin.

Grognard: I'll answer.  I can swing a sword, which is a step towards using a sword.

Munchkin: Okay then, let's go back to casting a spell.  Isn't casting a spell allowing you to "create, whole cloth, abilities which the player does not possess"?

Grognard: Yes, but again, it's a presupposition of the original game.

Moderator:  We're veering off point, gentlemen....

Grognard:  For the record, by the way, I'm not in favor of ability scores trumping player ability, either.

Munchkin: What???

Grognard: Your character is your avatar within the game.  If you're trying to talk your way past the guard, should you get a Charisma roll when you tell him, "I am Vecna, here to destroy you, stand aside little man!"?

Munchkin: Of course!  Maybe the guard doesn't know what Vecna looks like, and if you have a high enough Charisma, maybe you can sell it really well!

Grognard: What if you're a halfling?

Munchkin: I've met some pretty terrifying halflings....

Grognard: The point is, what you say matters, and skills or attributes shouldn't take the place of role playing and common sense.  If you're spouting nonsense, you shouldn't expect that a number on a piece of paper will mitigate that.

Munchkin: But that's ridiculous!  Your rule only makes sense when applied to social and mental attributes.  Should someone prove they can lift a gate in real life if they want their character to do so in game?

Moderator: Again, we've lost sight of our original topic, but unfortunately we're out of time.  I'd like to thank the reading audience for spending time with us this evening, and remember: if you can't be Good, be Neutral!

Monstrous Monday - Spider-Baby

 Spider Baby: Size: Small, Number Appearing: 1 Armor Class: 6 Hit Dice: 1 Movement 80’ Attacks: 1 Damage: Save vs. Poison or Paralyzed for 1d6 rounds XP: 200

Little is known of this legendary beast, the sum total is described here:

Body of a spider, but it's actually a baby
It doesn't have a nappy on it
It doesn't have the head of a baby
Looks like a spider
Doesn't gurgle at you or anything
Kept in a pram

Monstrous Monday: Bonus Texas Edition

Flaming Giant Zombie Golem: Size: Gargantuan, Number Appearing: Unique Armor Class: 2 Hit Dice: 10 Movement 120’ Attacks: 2 Damage: 1d12/1d12, save vs. breath weapon or catch fire (1d6 fire damage each round until successful save) XP: 2200

For years, the statue kept watch over fairgoers, smiling benevolently down upon those who passed through its gates.  A freak magical accident afflicted it with the spell "Perry's Perpetual Pyromancy".  Wreathed in flames that will not die, trapped in a body that will not die, the pain drove the goodness from its soul, leaving only an enraged shell in eternal agony with no desire other than to hurt and destroy those it once protected.

Beware the wrath of Big Tex, the Flaming Giant Zombie Golem!

...
...

Too soon?

(Context for non-Texans - http://idmn.dallasnews.com/local-and-state/20121020-state-fair-fans-mourn-fiery-demise-of-big-tex-folksy-icon-since-1952.ece )

Realism vs. Hyperrealism

Much has been made of joethelawyer's review of the session of Dwimmermount, run by Erik Tenkar, of Tenkar's Tavern fame, and I'm hardly the first to weigh in, but since when have such considerations ever stopped someone from blogging? 

There's a reason why nobody has published an rpg based on accountants who go to work every day to deal with their shitty bosses and crunch numbers in excel spreadheets.  With that being said, nobody has published an rpg where the GM asks the players what they want and then just gives it to them, either. Realism vs. Hyperrealism.

So most games fall somewhere on that axis, with the "sweet spot" being, like many things, in the eye of the beholder.   I noticed it for the first time when I was playing Grand Theft Auto IV.  I absolutely LOVED GTA2, 3 and all its iterations.  It was big, it was brash, it was gonzo.  It was a cartoonish version of the 80s and 90s that was close enough to reality that it could look over at the player and wink knowlingly, and if you were familiar enough with its in jokes, you got a good laugh.  If not, you still had a solid game playing experience.  With GTA4, Rockstar drank its own bathwater and suddenly we were in a real life simulation as a gangster.  There were occasional flashes of humor, but nothing comparable to the previous games.  It crystalized for me when I sat down on my couch and play a game on my television where my character sat down on a couch and watched a television.  At that point, the navelgazing created a singularity that pulled me right out of the game.  I put down the controller, and haven't played it since. 

I've been reading Grognardia for awhile, and anyone who does is probably familiar with Jim's turn of phrase, Gygaxian Naturalism.  Basically, the idea being that the monsters the PCs encounter existed before the combat, and will still exist afterwards (assuming they survive).  Based on the descriptions I've read of the session, it seems as though Dwimmermount is the architectural extension of this theory.  This is a dungeon that has been around for ages, has served multiple purposes, been inhabited by numerous creatures, etc.  It's a "naturalist" dungeon - it existed before the PCs arrived, and will be around long after they're gone.  Some of the stuff they find will make sense, perhaps because whatever they're interacting with is from a recent incarnation, perhaps because it's just obvious, but some of the other, more obscure stuff just might not make sense because the PCs lack the context to understand it. 

Is that a design flaw?  I don't think so.  Is that context required?  Again - I don't think so.  It just depends on where, on the axis described above, your "sweet spot" lies.  What, for you, constitutes a "good" dungeon?  If, as joethelawyer says, you're in it for the gold and glory, high adventure and praises from the serving wenches, then you probably lie closer to the "hyperrealism" side of things - titans riding tarrasques into battle would be the extreme end of it.  If you're looking to simulate the feeling of exploring ancient, long abandoned ruins, you're probably closer to the "realism" end of the spectrum, with 1st level adventures from 1978 D&D where you're being paid a few coppers to clean the stirges out of the bar's basement on that far end. 

Although I was a Dwimmermount backer, I have yet to download any of the previews, preferring instead to see the finished product before going back to see how the sausage was made.  I do feel pretty confident saying that Dwimmermount probably just didn't work for that group of players.  Hell, when I get it, it may not work for mine either - my group tends towards the more gonzo side of things, so they may react the same way.  Either way, though, I'm looking forward to holding the finished product in my hand.

So where does your group fall on the spectrum?

1e Monster Cards

I picked up a set of these on eBay on a whim, and they are officially my favorite RPG aid of all time. A picture of the monster on one side, monster stats on the other.  Perfect!  The GM reads the info, and the players get a visualization of what they're fighting.  It would have come in handy in my last game session, when the party was convinced that they were fighting giant crabs instead of Umber Hulks, because they misunderstood my description of the monsters (or I just described them poorly.  It could be either, really).

What makes these shine, though, is that each picture was drawn by one of the greats of early D&D - Jeff Dee, David S. LaForce, Erol Otus, Jim Roslof, Harry Quinn, Darlene Pekuland Bill Willingham each contributed to the collection.  I was excited when I found that there was something similar for Labyrinth Lord, but disappointed with the actual product.  For one thing, they're single sided, which (in my mind) defeats the purpose of the whole thing to begin with.  If I just want stats and a picture, there are other ways to get them.  For another, they're downloads, which makes it even more difficult to turn it into a product that is usable. 

Seriously folks, this is a project that has Kickstarter written all over it - let's get some quality Monster Cards out there, how can there not be a market for this sort of thing?

Session Report: Spelljammer!

The party completed it's transition from a landfaring, by the book 2e campaign to a full on Spelljammer campaign yesterday, in an epic, 6.5 hour session.  As such, this will be a somewhat long post, so if you're the tl;dr type, move along, move along, nothing to see.  In the event that you do continue, you will find this post conveniently broken up into separate parts, each with it's own Fun Fact!

Part I: Wild, Dark Times Are Rumbling Toward Us

Fun Fact: Heinrich Heine once wrote a poem, Ideen: Das Buch Le Grand which criticized German censors in the following section:

The German Censors  ——  ——  ——  —— 
——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  —— 
——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  

——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  —— 
——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  —— 
——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  —— 
——  ——  ——  ——  ——    idiots    ——  ——
——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——
——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——
——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——  ——
——  ——  ——  ——  ——



I gave the party an hour and a half (real time) before the all life on their planet was extinguished, and ceased to be habitable.  They were flying around on a Galleon, which could comfortably seat 20, but could pack in 40 people in a pinch.  There were already thirteen bodies on the boat - Hemi, Demi, Semi, Quay and Ver - the five Dwarven acolytes that followed Banebeard around, Banebeard's shady relative Scar the thief, Luke Daggerbeard the (alleged) dwarf, Vincent the Militant Wizard, Glacia and her manservant Sir Blaine, Veravum the Githyanki Paladin, and Ber, Glacia's full blooded Yet brother, who had been shaved, trained in eitquette, and now follows the party around in a suit, a bowler hat and a monocle, puffing on a pipe and offering wry criticisms of the poor manners of those around him.  With only 27 spots remaining on the last ship of Earth, the party immediately set off to rescue the clan of Yeti that Glacia had been raised by.  She found 10 of them huddling in the back of a cave, convinced that the earth and fire gods had been angered, and refused to come out of their hole.  Fortunately, due to her runin with the Deck of Many Things, Glacia is exceptionally Charismatic, and was able to convince them to come out of hiding.  They joined the party, and they next set off back to the Human capital to rescuse some of Vincent's fellow mages, now known around the table as the MilWiz Black Ops squad.

Unfortunately, a giant crevasse had opened up between the Yeti lands and had formed a band of frothy, bubbling lava stretching as far as the eye could see.  Navigating it was a bit tricky, and the ship sustained some damage, the bottom catching fire after a particularly active spout of lava licked the underside.  Fortunately Sundallasar was built on the shores of Lake Dallasar, and a quick dunk in the water put out the flames.  Unfortunately, finding the Tower of the Militant Wizards was easier said than done.  The party was not used to looking for things from overhead, and even if they had been, Sundallasar had gone through some pretty extensive geological renovations since they had last been there - buildings were smashed, towers were toppled, etc.  Finally they were able to locate the tower, and found four surviving MilWiz Black Ops, and then there were only 13 seats remaining. 

The team decided to scour the warehouse district to pick up supplies for their space travel.  In their travels to and fro about the city, however, they had attracted quite a bit of attention, and without buildings obscuring their view of the skyline, a large group of people were able to track the boat down.  The party decided to fill out their ranks with randomly abducted people from the crowd below, and Glacia sent her Yeti minions down into the crowd, and four more seats were taken. 

Suddenly, from the roof of a nearby warehouse, a group of armed men shouted at them, claiming that they were commandeering the ship in the name of King Aaloysius.  Banebeard, never one to truck with non-PC controlled NPCs, stone shaped a hole in the roof, sending several of them screaming to the floor beneath.  The remaining let loose with arrows, and the battle was joined.  Engaged in battle as they were, they almost didn't see the grappling hooks attach themselves to the other side of the ship.  Realizing that they probably wouldn't get the supplies they were looking for, they decided that, rather than go down into the crowd again and risk a riot, they would just pull up the six grappling hooks and whoever was on the other end of them would be saved.

And so it was that the party saved King Aaloysius, Queen Amdala and the seven year old Boy Prince Alaric.  Saved them completely unintentionally, but saved them nonetheless.  They, along with three loyal Knights, hopped on board, and the party sped off in search of another place to find food.  Navigating the lava river was even trickier on the way back, and the ship sustained more damage, but they managed to make it back to Meskith, which the original party (much of which had died or ran off since) had visited, way back when.  Luke Daggerbeard, the sole remaining OPM (Original Party Member), remembered that the Meskithites kept a survival shelter by their Town Hall, but upon breaking in, the huddled masses within panicked.  Time was running short, and given the choice of slaughtering the innocents to get tothe food stores or departing, the party left the earth, and watched as it crumpled like a wad of paper, until gravity released it's hold, and the chunks of earth floated slowly away.

Part II: Star Trekkin'

Fun Fact: John O'Connor, who wrote Star Trekkin' while a member of the band The Firm, went on to compose the music for King Of the Hill!

Amidst the debris, though, they spotted another ship headed out.  Following it, they found it was headed towards a blue light, much like the lights the Illithids had used to herald the destruction of their homeworld.  When they tracked it down, they found a midling sized town on an asteroid, with a blue glow  on it's horizon.  They recognized some wooden planks jutting out from the side of the asteroid as some sort of dock area, so the attempted to land.  Not having followed proper docking procedures, they were confronted by a squad of Giff, hired by the Elven Protectorate to ensure law and order was followed on the Rock, as it's known.

After the initial misunderstandings were clarified, the leader of the Giff, Giff-One, invited them to dinner.  The party set about buying repairs and upgrades for the ship, including a prototype weapon designed by the Tinker Gnome dockworkers, who installed it for free (heh heh heh).  Luke Daggerbeard bought himself an arquebus, while Vincent procured a Starwheel (flintlock pistol).  Scar snuck off, finding that the Illithids had also docked, not long before us, and headed across town to stay at an inn which catered their type. 

Dinnertime arrived, and they met with Giff-One for a delightful meal.  He introduced the party to some of the basics of Spelljamming, there were debates on the proper placement of salad forks which turned into Etiquette Battles (which the Yeti ended up winning), and Giff-One inquired about the party's travels.  They revealed that they were only able to escape due to their possession of what they referred to as, "The Beer Stone", which they had recovered from the recently cleared Dungeon.  Turns out it can turn any ship into a spacefaring vessel, and as such is a prized artifact, known all throughout Wildspace and beyond.  The party was advised to be more discreet in the future regarding their possession of the artifact.  The party was asked to investigate the blue light, which Giff-One had sent a squad to look into.  Unfortunately, they did not return.  The party was glad to investigate, especially when Giff-One said that the squad would be indebted to the party, were they able to rescue them.  He did insist, though, that the party bring back the Illithids alive so they could answer the charges of Planetary Genocide that the party was raising.  Reluctantly, the party agreed.

Part III: The Last Argument of Kings

Fun Fact - the phrase, Ultima Ratio Regum (The Last Argument of Kings) was enscribed on every single cannon used by King Louis XIV's armies! 

All was going swimmingly, until King Aaloysius stormed into the dining hall, demanding to know why he was not part of any negotiations, as the highest ranking person there.  The Giffs apologized profusely, thinking they had broken some primitive land-based protocol, and promised to consult only with him in the future.  Slightly mollified, the King retired to the ship, where a confrontation brewed.  The King wanted control over the direction the Ship took, Banebeard refused.  Glacia, overhearing this, took the King's demands to mean that he wanted control over her tribe, and challenged him to combat.  His Knights objected, and lines were drawn.  Vincent, Kaye's character, was drawn into combat on the King's side, along with the 3 Knights and the 4 MilWiz Black Ops, vs. the rest of the PCs, and the squad of enraged Yeti.

I would say that a vast and terrible battle ensued, but... not really.  Glacia attacked the King, all his allies attacked Glacia, and the Scar backstabbed the King for 75 points of damage, ending the reign of King Aaloysius.  Everyone seemed rather relieved, with even his Knights muttering something to the effect of, "Thank God, that guy was kind of an asshole", and then much louder, "LONG LIVE KING ALARIC!" 

The Queen asked that they find a proper kingdom for her and her son, and seemed much less of a jerk than her husband, so she was allowed to continue living on the ship.

Part IV: Before We Were Interrupted

Fun Fact - "Chitin" is pronounced like "Kite-In", not "Chit-In"!

With all that unpleasantness settled, Giff-One approached the party, horribly embarrassed, explaining that they had been protecting what they thought was the rightful ruler from an insurrection, an action fully in line with their role as the Law and Order on the Rock.  Now that King Aaloysius was deposed, and a new King was in place and everyone seemed okay with that, the Giff were hoping that the party would still go look for their missing squad. 

The party agreed, and they set off across the silent, craggy plains of the asteroid.  They almost missed a trap door with a tunnel headed back to town, but decided to leave it unexplored, and headed farther out towards the glow, where they came upon a strange installation, made of metal and with a radar dish attached to it, surrounded by a fence.  Kaye, once more proving that he doesn't truly understand how mages work, decided to touch the fence, which promptly shocked him and knocked him off his feet.  Almost immediately, three Umber Hulks attacked them.  Umber Hulks are friggin tough.  Between their claw claw bite (3d4/3d4/1d10) attacks, and their two pairs of eyes which replicate the effects of a Confusion spell, it was a tough bit of combat for the party, and it was touch and go for a bit, especially when two party members succumbed to the Confusion spell.  They triumphed in the end, though, and HOLY CRAP Umber Hulks are like Money Vending Machines on Legs.  Massive amounts of gold  and several magical items spilled from their split cavities, and that, combined with the damage taken, convinced the party to head back to town. 

After resting up, the party headed back out again, but this time decided to check out that trap door, not eager to face more Umber Hulks.  Following the tunnel below back into town, they found that it ended in another trap door, leading up.  Kaye decided to use a mystery scroll in the event that it would help, but instead found himself polymorphed into a mouse.  Taking it in stride, he offered to use his newfound size to scout the area above.  He found himself in an empty bedroom.  Scurrying around, he found that there were other bedrooms, with sleeping figures in each, but he was unable to determine anything else due to his size.  Coming across a set of stairs headed down, he leapt down into the front room of an inn, where a Bugbear worked behind the bar, and a goblin lounged in front of the fire.  Figuring he'd seen enough, Kaye tried to go back up the stairs, but found he was too small.  The goblin got up from the fire, and started heading upstairs, so Kaye tried to hitch a ride, leaping onto his shoe.  Unfortunately, the polymorph wore off at an inopportune moment, and the goblin found himself being tackled by a naken human male.  Kaye got up and started running, the Goblin and the Bugbear hot on his heels.

There was a tense standoff as Kaye made it back to the party, still huddled below the trap door in the bedroom.  The Goblin cried for Justice, and the party told it to shut up.  The Bugbear was more angry at the Illithids that were staying in the room for creating a tunnel and causing damages, and pretty much forgot about Kaye.  The party investigated the room, and found a scrap of paper in the Illithid language, which they took with them as they left, promising to crack the Illithids' skulls for the Bugbear Barkeep.


Aaand that's about where we left things.  Tune in next time for more adventures of the Post Apocalyptic Refugees!

5e Playtest: The A-Team Strikes! addendum

For those of you who don't read it, Ark at Rather Gamey has posted his thoughts on the game session previously detailed here.  I'm not sure what the Venn Diagram of our two readerships looks like, but in case you're not part of the overlap, follow the link and be rewarded.

Pros and Cons

 I had been planning on attending the NTRPG Con for several months, but life ended up getting in the way, and I had to cancel my plans.  At the last minute, though, it turned out that I had Sunday afternoon free, so I was able to sneak in, just as things were wrapping up, and I'm glad I did.  I walked in and caught up with Ark and the Boy, who were playing a game of... something... with Jeff Dee GMing.  Jeff put the game on hold to show me some of the artwork he was selling, including what he described as the "New Originals" of the artwork from one of my favorite modules, Expedition to the Barrier Peaks.  I gleefully picked up two of them, for the wall space that I will someday devote to RPG Art, and Jeff even threw in a postcard size reproduction of Zeus from Deities & Demigods for free!  Also playing at the table was Zeb Cook, and Ark was kind enough to introduce me to him.  Unfortunately, I was taken off guard, and only managed to stammer something about how much I loved 2e.  Mr. Cook was generous, acknowledging the spirit of my statement if not the actual content.

A quick spin through the Dealers Room rewarded me with a Spelljammer which will no doubt bedevil my group in upcoming sessions as they transition from landlubbers to Salty Dogs of the Spaceways.  A couple of All Flesh Must Be Eaten supplements, some Fading Suns sourcebooks, Runequest's Foes, the Compleat Arduin, a wet/dry/permanent double sided flip-mat, an X-Crawl module, and a Mutazoids sourcebook.

The real prizes, though, were the Deluxe DCC RPG book, the NTGRPG Con exclusive reprint of Palace of the Vampire Queen, the 1e module Dungeonland, a 1st printing of Tomb of Horrors, and a copy of the 1e module Baltron's Beacon, signed by Frank Mentzer himself!

Wandering around, I was seriously impressed by the Aliens game going on, with an incredibly detailed game board, and the actual Aliens soundtrack playing on a small boombox.  Although I didn't get a chance to see it played, I'm interested in Circus Maximus, and I'm still seething that Ark's son got to play with Frank Mentzer, Jim Ward and other assorted luminaries of our industry.

All in all, I had a very successful, if short, swing through the Con.  I'm making it a point, hell or high water, to make it to this thing next year.  Taking time off, renting a room, maybe renting a table to sell off some excess stuff.  The whole nine yards.

5e Playtest: The A-Team Strikes!

As promised, a recounting of the A-Team's descent into the Caves of Chaos.    The team heard of treasure to be found in the Caves outside of town, and so they all charged, en masse to the outskirts to see what could be had.  While given the option to search the area outside of the Caves, the group instead decided to charge right in, the prospect of free money overwhelming their good sense.  Inside we stumbled upon goblins, who had goblin friends lurking about, who had an ogre friend lounging on various skins.

First off let me say holy crap ogres are no joke in 5e.  We sat there banging away at the ogre for the better part of 20 minutes before he went down.

My impression was that the system seems pretty organic at this stage.  I'm sure that's because we're only getting a half finished product, but honestly, I think they have enough rules for a serviceable game with what they've released.  Toss in character creations and a few other odds and ends, and BAM you've got a game.  I especially liked the little bit on the character sheet that said, "For a more old-school feel...".  You've got something on your nose, WOTC, but I like it.  I played a thief, and spent the entire game in hiding, mostly running around looting the joint while the party slaughtered goblins.  By the end of the session, I was literally carrying around thousands of coins, cleverly hidden in... ahem... different places.  I like the way you can skate around combat, if you so desire, and I'm looking forward to the opportunity to utilize my Commerce skill or something similarly non-combat oriented next time out.

Kaye, er, B.A. Barracus was a bit discouraged playing the Elven Wizard.  He doesn't like Elves anyways, or rather he Pities the Fools, and Mages are a bit suspect, after his recent experiences with Torvalds.  Unsurprisingly, the Elven Mage didn't last long, falling before the onslaught of the goblin/ogre teamup.  He survived the melee, but decided this whole adventuring thing wasn't for him after all, and headed back to town.  Fortunately, a Dwarven Cleric wandered by at that exact moment, and all was well and balanced once more.  The Knightly Cleric was a good fit for him, and he seemed satisfied.

The Boy, aka Howlin' Mad Murdock, seemed in his element.  He played the Cleric of Pelor, or as he was known about the table, the "Laser Priest", due to an at will power wich allowed him to shoot a beam of light at various miscreants and ne'er-do-wells.  Laser beams have a way of brightening any boy's spirits, so I'm not sure how much of his glee was due to the system, and how much was due to burning perfectly shaped holes in the skulls of goblins.  In the end, though, I guess it doesn't matter - he enjoyed himself.

The real surprise of the evening was the Woman.  My fiancee has never played an RPG in her life, and while she was willing to participate in the name of Science! she was not terribly enthusiastic going into it.  It didn't take long, however, before Persephone the Dwarven Warrior Lass was going buck wild with her Battle Axe, kicking the everloving snot out of Goblin and Ogre alike.  The ogre almost took her down, but not quite, and the "Even if you miss you hit" rule that applies to this character kept her engaged.  After the game, she confessed, almost guiltily, that she enjoyed herself.  In fact, I'd say the highlight of the night was when she slew a goblin, "Like Brienne of Tarth did in to that Stark soldier in the finale of Game of Thrones."  Except she did it with a battleaxe.  Think about that for a minute.  Or better yet, don't.

I'll leave George Peppard's thoughts to him, he seemed to be having a good time as well, but who knows what lurks behind the beady little eyes of a GM?

I have to say, though, all in all, it seemed to be a success.  Nobody "broke" the game, and everyone picked it up pretty quickly - there was enough familiar stuff there that I think anyone could pick this game up and play without having to devote too much time to learning the rules.  Does it pass the "Old School" litmus test?  I have no idea.  It was fun for everyone involved, though, and in the end, isn't that what really matters?

Session Report: It's the End of the World As We Know It...

And so it was that the party finally finished off the Chaos Cave.  Steadily escalating earthquakes rattled the group as they forced their way into the center of the dungeon, in search of the Holy Relic of Moradin, the Dwarven God of Dwarves and Beer.  There, in the center of the dungeon, they found Gorgosh, a Dark Cleric, summoning swarms of the Undead, and his Death Knight servant.  There was a force bubble surrounding the entrance, which all of the party save Glacia and her manservant were able to bypass with no trouble.  Wading into the ocean of the Undead, Banebeard, the Dwarven Cleric, was an Undead Turning Machine, destroying scores of Skeletons and Zombies each round, and it essentially because a race between the two clerics - Gorgosh raised them, Banebeard put them down.  Then the Death Knight entered the fray, pointing it's deadly finger at poor Serendipity the Thief/Mage, recently returned from retirement at the insistance of her paramour Aloud.  A deadly Power Word: Kill (aka Fus Ro DIE) spell was spoken, and just like that, no Saving Throw, Serendipity was dead.  The pitched battle continued, with Gorgosh slowly retreating to a small back room, where an eerie blue light glowed ominously. 

Finally Glacia passed her saving throw and was able to penetrate the bubble, and in two leaps bounded all the way across the battle, and into the back room.  So focused was she, that she didn't even see the Illithid playing with a machine in the back of the room.  The machine that was casting the eerie light.  The machine that extended below the surface into the earth.  Which was shaking violently by this point.

Slowly the party whittled down the vast numbers of undead, and closed in on Gorgosh and the Illithid, who turned and fought.  The Illithid unleashed it's devastating mind blast on Glacia, but unfortunately, she was in a state of frenzy and apparently immune to such effects.  It tried to charm her, with similar results.  It was still confused by the lack of effectiveness when Vincent, the militant wizard cleaved it's head from it's body.

Nonetheless, the damage was done.  The machine spun to stop, but the earthquakes continued to rattle the dungeon, causing portions of the cave to collapse entirely and lava to spew from the earth.  Grabbing the Holy Relic of Moradin from the dead Illithid, the party ran as fast as their legs could carry them, but the earthquakes knocked them from their feet time and time again.  Just as the lava was cresting and about to swallow them, Veravum, the hapless Githyanki paladin, opened a planar portal and rescued them.

Passing through the astral plane on their way back to their flying ship, they saw the Githyanki Astral Fortress Weissehaupt burning as it fell through space.  Clearly there was some serious s**t going down.  Arriving back on their boat, they saw the earth rippling like water.  The horizon to the east, the direction of the Human Lands, was glowing steadily as lava overtook it.  To the south, they watched  the entire Elven Nation rip itself from the earth and spin away into the sky.

Veravum helpfully pointed out that the Holy Relic of Moradin was mined by the Moradin himself from the earth beneath Sigil, and posessed, among other things, the ability to function like a portable Spelljamming Helm.  A debate immediately began with regards to who, if anyone, should be saved from the impending global apocalypse.  Some suggestions included an order of Militant Wizards, a tribe of yeti, and "F*ck 'em all, I never liked anyone on this dirtball anyways."

Only time will tell what becomes of the party!

The 5e A-Team

So my group has decided to playtest D&DNext, and as such have formed the perfect group in order to provide WOTC with the most balanced set of feedback possible.

Hannibal, aka Ark.  He's the man with the plan, he's the Grognard of the group, he's guy WOTC would give it's proverbial left nut to get back in their camp.  He'll be DMing.  Specialty: Crunching DM-side rules.

B.A. "Bad Attitude" Baracus, aka Kaye.  Our resident tank.  Cut his teeth on the powergamer-friendly 3rd edition, and is trying to adjust to Labyrinth Lord and 2e restrictions.  Specialty: Tweaking characters to the point where they exist solely for a specific purpose.

H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock, aka The Boy.  Regards 4e as "real Dungeons and Dragons", he's WOTC's other target demographic.  He's unpredictable at the game table - sometimes his characters fight, other times they go out of their way to avoid conflict, and contemplate settling down and roleplaying a quiet family life instead.  Specialty: Can the rules keep up with his imagination?

Templeton "Faceman" Peck, aka Me.  Yeah, that's right, I'm a ladies man.  You didn't know that about me, because I keep it low key on here.  But now you do.  I was raised on 2e, and my characters tend to be smooth mother f***ers.  Specialty: non-combat focused, charisma based character generation

The Rotating Girl Character, aka The Woman.  My better half.  Rounding out our group is my fiancee, who has never roleplayed before.  Ever.  She's not really sure if she even wants to, or will enjoy it, but is a good sport and is helping out for a session or two to test out the rules.  Specialty: Doesn't really have one, that I know of.  She's there to see how easy the rules are to pick up.

DnD Next is off to a... wait... what's that you say?

So the debut of the public playtest has hit a bit of a snag or two, and as you can imagine,  NERD RAGE ABOUNDS.  

 Join in the fun!  The more everyone hammers the links the longer it'll take us all to get the playtest!  Yay!

Game Like Trane

I'll preface this by saying, I'm no musical scholar.  I don't know anything about chord progressions, or key changes, or anything like that.  So if I'm dead wrong, just go with the feeling of what I'm writing.

Which is pretty much what I'm writing about, come to think about it.  There are some songs/albums/bands that I listen to because I love every note, every bit of the music.  Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, for instance, I know it inside and out.  I can sing along with the guitar lines, I know every beat from the drum, a part of me thinks that I own that music, I know it so well.  Every once in awhile, I'll go into what my better half calls a "Floyd Void", where I listen to nothing but Pink Floyd albums, and I'll devour their studio albums, I'll chase down ROIOs online, and I will live on Floyd alone.  I can do that because it's something I know.

There is other music I can never own, though.  John Coltrane's Blue Train is a great example of this.  I was listening to it on my way into work today, and it struck me that I listen to it differently than I do Pink Floyd.  I love it just as much, but I can never own it the way I do DSOTM.  With DSOTM, I wait for the next familiar beat so I can belt out the refrain in time with the album.  I don't sing along with Blue Trane.  I inhale Pink Floyd, I let Blue Trane wash over me. 

Play the opening to Blue Train for just about anyone, and they'll swear they've heard it before.  It's just one of those instantly recognizeable tunes that everyone's heard, either intentionally or in the background.  But that's not the song.  The real song kicks in once Coltrane is set loose, and while every take of the song is different, it still hangs on that opening tune. 

That's how I want to game.  I don't want to game like Dark Side of the Moon.  Yes, every song is a masterpiece, and there are times where that's all I want to listen to, I want to game like Trane - I want the game to wash over me, with familiar bits that spin off into majestic lunacy that keeps me on the edge of my seat, wondering what is coming next.  I don't want the Hero's Journey, I want cliffs and valleys, I want hairpin turns and vast chasms to be leapt. 

I want my games to be fresh and new every time I play them, with just enough familiarity to keep things going.

D&D might be my DSOTM.  I love it, but I'm not sure if I can stop singing other peoples' refrains.  I've been in a D&D void for awhile, my thoughts consumed by dwarves and elves, but I feel the need to stretch my legs a bit.  Maybe something new.

Workarounds for Demihuman Level Limits

I’m behind on the curve a bit here, I know this was the topic du jour a bit ago, but it was raised by one of my players recently, so it’s been on my mind a bit.  While I understand the reasoning – you’ve got to give players SOME reason to play a Human, it just doesn’t make sense, especially in the context of the long life spans of the demihumans.  How does an elf, that lives for thousands of years, never progress beyond 12^th level clerical abilities?  How do they never get better than a 12^th level fighter?   It just doesn’t make sense.

Now mind you, I’m going to discuss this within the confines of 2e, as that is the game which is presenting me with this problem right now, but I think some of the possibilities could be applied to other games, as well.

The 2e DM’s Guide provides two optional rules, one I like better than the other, and I’ve come up with a third idea.  I’d love to get some feedback before I pitch the ideas at Wednesday’s game.

Option 1: Attribute Based Level Advancement

This gives bonus levels based on the score of the Prime Requisite Attribute.  On a 14 or 15, the demihuman can advance one level beyond the limit.  With a 16 or 17, they can exceed by 2, an 18 gets them 3 levels, and a 19 gets them 4.  For many of the races, a 19 attribute score gets them up to level 19, which is comparable to a human, and there is some attraction there.

Option 2: Slow Advancement Beyond the Limit

When the demihuman hits the limit, they continue to advance, but the requirements to advance beyond the level double.  It allows them to reach the same heights of power as the humans, but it takes much longer to do so.  This almost makes sense, too, in the context of their long lives.

Option 3: Dual-classing Multiclassed Demihumans

When the demihuman reaches the level limit for their chosen class, they can pick another class to advance through.  Their THAC0 and saving throws hit points and such progress at the rate of their current class.  Again, this make sense, when you consider their lifespans.  This is basically 2e’s approach to Dual-Classing for humans.

Any of these are better than 2e’s Multiclassing system, which involves proportional distribution of bonuses, hit points and experience points, and all sorts of nonsense that takes 2 pages to explain.  

Any other ways of doing things?

You Are Likely To Be Eaten By A Grue

This was one of three video games that directly steered me towards role playing.  We had an Apple IIe for quite some time growing up, so the number of games available to us became more and more restricted as we aged.  The Zork franchise stuck with us longer than most, though, all the way to Zork Zero.  I stuck with it all the way, mainly because it was damn near impossible to defeat (no way was I calling that 900 number to get hints!).

Interestingly enough, it was that impenetrability that drew me in, and kept me coming back to the game.  It's one of the few games actually feels like an old school RPG.  I just didn't know it at the time.   

Full of vast underground empires, magical artifacts, spells, humor, Zork had it all.

Almost... too much, though, at times. 

The series could be positively labyrinthine.  My favorite example of this is from Beyond Zork, where you need an ancient artifact, the Pheehelm, in order to be intelligent enough to read word that opens the door to the last area of the game.  In order to get the helm, you need a minx (found by wandering in the forest until you come across a band of hunters chasing one, which you save), an hourglass (purchased for 1000 zorkmids, which you can only obtain by selling a huge gem, which you get by making a mother hungus chase you towards a statue.  She charges you, hits it, it falls into your lap.  Don't ask what a hungus is.), an ever-fresh truffle (minxes hunt for truffles, find one, then wade into the pool of Youth (found in another area), and the truffle will never age).  Now you go, stand under an arch and turn the hourglass, which takes you back in time, to the last time the Helmet (remember the Helmet?) was seen, in a vicious battle between the forces of Pheebor and Borphee.  A prince is wearing the helmet, is decapitated, and his head falls into a trench.  Can you pick up the helmet there?  Hell no you can't!  You throw the ever-fresh truffle into the pit, then turn the hourglass and go back to the future!  Your minx (remember the minx?)  leaps from your arms, and digs through the earth, finding the ever-fresh truffle, and, HEY!  It's the Pheehelm!

Take a moment to reread that paragraph, and try and comprehend how much trial and error, how many "You can't do that here"s you would have to go through, in an ALL TEXT adventure, before you figured it out.

Trust me, the Tomb of Horrors ain't got nothing on Zork - by the time I cracked the Player's Handbook for the first time, I was primed and ready for D&D.

Things To Do

After last night's session, the party has a full plate indeed.  It all started when the dwarven cleric, in a drunken stupor, flew the ship north instead of south, inviting attack by a White Dragon.  They were able to slay the beast, but the cost was high - the life of Serendipity, the NPC sibling of Chartreuse was lost to the initial blast of the icy breath weapon.  Luckily, they were able to trade the corpse of the dragon to an elven mage, who put in a good word with the High Priestess of Solanfir, the Elven Goddess of Renewal, Rebirth, Spring, etc.  She cast a limited Resurrection spell, which brings the dead back for seven days.  There is a cave, however, where time flows strangely, slightly to the east of the elven city.  At the heart of this cave lies a pool which, should the resurrected submerge themselves within it, will make their resurrection permanent.

The party managed to stumble through a formal dinner with the King of the Elves without causing a major incident.  Not for lack of trying, though.  The dwarven priest, again intoxicated, picked a fight with some elven nobles, but was subjected to a Hold Person spell, and they shaved him.  He currently plots his revenge.

Oh and a Yuan-Ti was present at the dinner.  The party is convinced is either an illithid in disguise, or a spy.  Possibly both.

The dinner was productive, however - it turns out they're not quite done with the dungeon they abandoned last session - in addition to recovering the sacred gem of the Dwarven Beer God, there is an elven Star Seer who has gone missing in the same area.  They were also given a lead on the strange writings they recovered from the dwarven altar the illithids desecrated.  It turns out that they are written in the hidden language of the mind flayers, a language whose secrets are jealously guarded by the star-spawned creatures.  Only a few people in the entire world know even a handful of the symbols, and the papers the party found represent the largest example of their writing found to date.  The foremost expert on the language is a high mage by the name of Magrush, in the Human capitol of Sundallassar. 

There was also a fight with a pair of yeti, one of which was subdued, and is now being trained to read and write, while chained up in the hold of their flying ship.

Yep, it's one of those types of games.

The Bloat

I've been in a happy place for the last year or so, as I've rediscovered my love for AD&D 2e.  I've managed to grab just about everything that I had before the Great Purge of '96, and now I'm gathering peripherals and stuff I wished I had been able to have back then.

So it was that I found myself staring at a copy of Hellgate Keep at my local Half Price Books yesterday, thinking, "Why not?"  It was five bucks, and while I probably would never use it, it might have some good ideas that I would spring on the guys at tonight's game, so what the heck.

Later that evening, as I settled into bed, I flipped it open and started reading.  I made it to the second sentence, which reads as follows:

"No rules are necessary for this adventure beyond the core AD&D rules ( the Player's Handbook, Dungeon Master Guide, Monstrous Manual Tome, and Tome of Magic), the Complete Psionics Handbook, Players Option: Skills & Powers, the Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting Box, and Faiths & Avatars."

Oh, is that all?

No, actually, it isn't, as the next sentence helpfully informed me:

"However, having access to the North Boxed Set would provide more background on the region the adventure is set in and its recent history, and Volo's Guide to All Things Magical provides more information on the Gatekeeper's Crystal, an artifact prominent in the recent history of Hellgate Keep."

Wow, that's alot.  Surely that's all I need?

Nope!

"Folks also might find some Planescape materials useful in expanding the details and backstory of some of the more fiendish inhabitants of Hellgate Keep."

All of that for a 32 page adventure, priced at $9.95.

Obviously, by the time this came out, they were in a full-on, "how can we squeeze every last drop of money out of the people who play this" mode.  I mean, seriously?  Five hardcovers, two boxed sets, and three softcovers?  Not even getting into the multiple boxed sets Planescape generated?  For a 32 page adventure?

I can definitely see how this sort of marketing would have upset people way back when.  Hellgate Keep was released in 1998, so it seems as though I got out just in time.  Had I been getting into the hobby at this point, I would have looked at the laundry list and ran, not walked, back to the bookstore to return this incomplete thing that had been foisted upon me.

Steve at Howling Tower was talking about how each system starts off popular because a complete product is initially delivered.  The product takes off because it's easily accessible.  The public demands more, though, which means more product - more rules, more monsters, more line expansion.  This continues, until the line collapses under it's own weight, at which point the next iteration emerges, to perpetuate the cycle.  I think the type of shameless, cash-grabbing thinking that generated that opening paragraph is pretty indicative of the snake choking on it's tail.

I still love me some 2e, don't get me wrong.  I actually think it's a better system, now that everything (official) that will ever come out for it already has.

Game Mastery Decks

On a whim, I picked up a pair of Game Mastery Decks at Ye Olde Game Shoppe last week, and thought to myself how much fun those would be to drop into my 2e campaign.  And y'know, when I'm right, I'm right!

It was a bit weird at first - they're designed for Pathfinder games, and so some of the stuff was lost in translation.  We figured out ways around it though, such as when the party caught a critical hit which called for Intelligence Bleed.  It required a bit of fudging when it was inflicted upon a Stone Giant, we ended up deciding that it had an Intelligence of 10, and when it bled out, it was dead.

But oh, the Critical Fumbles.  Hilarity ensued as the dwarven cleric knocked himself out after smashing himself in the foot with a hammer and bleeding out, the elven archer tore a muscle and notched her fingers, causing bleed damage and penalties to hit, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

The party seemed to get into it as well, even if there were far more cards drawn from the fumble deck than the hit deck. So yeah, all around success.

They're available here, along with other types of cards of dubious usefulness - http://paizo.com/gameMastery/itemPacks

Distribution of Labor

Last night, as I DM'd my 2e campaign, I decided that I was going to make "passive" hidden doors rolls myself, as opposed to the players.  Elves, for instance, can locate a hidden door on a 1 or a 2 on a d6 just by passing by them.  It just made more sense for me to be doing that, so as not to tip off the players.

This segueued into a conversation about the distribution of labor in RPGs.  The episode of Community ( you know which one) was referenced.  In it, Abed was the DM and he did all the dice rolling.  Players announced their actions, and the he made the rolls to see if they were able to complete this action.

This, to me, is the true Old School.  It removes all of the number crunching, all of the min/maxing from the game, and it becomes all narrative.

But holy crap how much work is that for the GM.  Too much for me, anyways.  In addition, it also makes the players more passive participants in the game, as opposed to being actively involved, as they can be when they're determining the fate of their own character.

I tend to roll for NPCs, unless they're henchmen or hirelings, and let my players roll for themselves and any affiliated characters they travel with.  Honestly it had never occurred to do it any differently, but now I'm curious - what is the distribution of labor at your table?  Does anyone play it Abed's way anymore?  Did they ever?

Enquiring Minds Want To Know